That sounds pretty crazy, right? "Know what you do not know." I thought so, too, when my biology professor offered me his "best piece of advice."
Would you like to hear a secret? Okay, okay. Just do not tell anyone.
I, Emily Renee' Wallace, have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life. For those of you who know me personally, you know just how hard it was for me to admit that. In high school, I was that girl who had it all together. I knew exactly what college I wanted to go to, what major I would study, how many years of college I would have to go through, I even planned my entire schedule for the rest of my undergraduate career. Before I came to UGA, I was confident in my plan for my future. Now? Not at all.
From my first day of class, I knew I was in a different league altogether. I realized that the student I was and the grades that I made in high school hold no importance, no dominance here. I found out that I am just one small person in a raging sea of 36,000. I quickly became overwhelmed. I failed. My tests showed no improvement, my phone calls home increased, my desire to give up almost overtook me.
I was terrified. I was alone in a new town, at a new school, and I had to learn quickly just how much I did not know. I began to sink.
A week later, I recognized something that I never had before. I was not at this university by luck, my name drawn out by the invisible hand of fate. No, I worked to earn my spot here. I spent hours upon hours building my resume in the hopes that I would one day be at the very spot I am sitting at right now. To get here, I did not give up. I pressed on.
This morning, God spoke the exact words that I needed to hear through Pastor Carlos Sibley of Watkinsville First Baptist Church. Pastor Sibley's sermon on praying for guidance came from Psalm 25, a passage that I strongly encourage that you read:
"In you, Lord my God, I put my trust. I trust in you, do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies trump over me...Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you army God and Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." -Psalm 25:1-2, 4-5.
It was there in the reading when I realized my problem. This experience was not easy; it is impossible to navigate alone. I had not put my trust, my hope in God. Here I was, small and powerless, trying to control my life. I was simply too worried, too caught up in my own righteousness to ask for help. That, that is what I did not know.
Now, almost a month later and my last week of my first semester of college ahead of me, I see just how much I have grown both mentally and spiritually. Do I now have any indication of what my life will be like in five, ten years? Absolutely not. Am I scared? Incredibly. I realize more and more everyday just how little I know about who I am and what my future holds. By acknowledging this, I see the two choices that I have: I can choose to give up, or I can continue on and wake up every day to learn what I do not know.
May God bless you and give you guidance in the days to come.
Emily
Would you like to hear a secret? Okay, okay. Just do not tell anyone.
I, Emily Renee' Wallace, have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life. For those of you who know me personally, you know just how hard it was for me to admit that. In high school, I was that girl who had it all together. I knew exactly what college I wanted to go to, what major I would study, how many years of college I would have to go through, I even planned my entire schedule for the rest of my undergraduate career. Before I came to UGA, I was confident in my plan for my future. Now? Not at all.
From my first day of class, I knew I was in a different league altogether. I realized that the student I was and the grades that I made in high school hold no importance, no dominance here. I found out that I am just one small person in a raging sea of 36,000. I quickly became overwhelmed. I failed. My tests showed no improvement, my phone calls home increased, my desire to give up almost overtook me.
I was terrified. I was alone in a new town, at a new school, and I had to learn quickly just how much I did not know. I began to sink.
A week later, I recognized something that I never had before. I was not at this university by luck, my name drawn out by the invisible hand of fate. No, I worked to earn my spot here. I spent hours upon hours building my resume in the hopes that I would one day be at the very spot I am sitting at right now. To get here, I did not give up. I pressed on.
This morning, God spoke the exact words that I needed to hear through Pastor Carlos Sibley of Watkinsville First Baptist Church. Pastor Sibley's sermon on praying for guidance came from Psalm 25, a passage that I strongly encourage that you read:
"In you, Lord my God, I put my trust. I trust in you, do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies trump over me...Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you army God and Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." -Psalm 25:1-2, 4-5.
It was there in the reading when I realized my problem. This experience was not easy; it is impossible to navigate alone. I had not put my trust, my hope in God. Here I was, small and powerless, trying to control my life. I was simply too worried, too caught up in my own righteousness to ask for help. That, that is what I did not know.
Now, almost a month later and my last week of my first semester of college ahead of me, I see just how much I have grown both mentally and spiritually. Do I now have any indication of what my life will be like in five, ten years? Absolutely not. Am I scared? Incredibly. I realize more and more everyday just how little I know about who I am and what my future holds. By acknowledging this, I see the two choices that I have: I can choose to give up, or I can continue on and wake up every day to learn what I do not know.
May God bless you and give you guidance in the days to come.
Emily